Thoughts on the Great Northern Stop Brexit Conference 8th September 2018

I was fortunate to be able to go along with my fellow staunch anti-Brexit friend Caroline Kenyon to the Great Northern Stop Brexit Conference, planned and facilitated by Leeds for Europe and put on at the very plush Principal Met Hotel, in Leeds Central. I listened to a number of passionate activists, campaigners and political figures talk about the current situation facing the UK, the level of campaigning needed to get the People's Vote referendum campaign on the final Brexit deal to the point where MPs and MEPs from all political parties are willing to openly support it and then the level of campaigning needed to convince voters from across the UK to cast their vote in favour of Remaining in the EU and spearheading the reform programme needed to make the UK and the EU more prosperous, healthier and happier. If People's Vote campaigners want to secure a convincing majority in any future referendum on Brexit, they will need to appeal to voters living in Northern constituencies, both urban and rural. Constituencies in the East Midlands like Mansfield, which voted 70.9% to Leave in 2016, Erewash, which voted 63.3% in 2016, Derbyshire South, which voted 60.4% to Leave in 2016 and my own constituency of Lincoln, which voted 57.3% to Leave in 2016. Best for Britain and HOPE not Hate published a report last month which showed that 112 constituencies would now vote to Remain in the EU if a referendum were to be held. Voters in constituencies like Gedling (56.2% Leave in 2016, 52.4% Remain now) , Broxtowe (52.4% Leave in 2016, 53.3% Remain now), Derby North (53.7% Leave in 2016, 52.0% Remain now), Leicester West (51.7% Leave in 2016, 55.4% Remain now) and Leicester East (53.2% Leave in 2016, 54.3% Remain now) seem to have shifted their view from Leave to Remain. That's great but none of the constituencies I have mentioned before have shifted decisively. 64.0% of Mansfield voters would still choose to Leave the EU, 57.1% of Erewash voters would still put their X in the Leave box, 55.5% of Derbyshire South voters would still say Non and 52.5% of Lincoln voters would still vote Leave. The percentage of Leave voters may have decreased in these areas but there will still be a hefty number of voters who will come out and oppose the Peoples Vote vision for the future of the UK. In Lincolnshire there is currently no constituency that would vote to Remain in the EU. So the question that People's Vote campaigners have to ask is this: how do we convince voters from working class communities, those who are Just-About-Managing, as well as middle class rural mild Eurosceptics to back the premise behind the People's Vote?

Saturday's conference I think attempted in part to address this question. I believe that first of all, campaigners need to be prepared to engage in frank, honest and open dialogue with Leave voters, as well as people who chose not to vote or were too young to vote in the 2016 referendum. I understand the palpable anger that exists: voters in my local ward of Birchwood, in Lincoln are overwhelmingly frustrated at the lack of progress being made by PM May's Tory Government on securing a final Brexit deal and they are equally concerned at the recent plethora of bad news stories which have made it clear what could happen in the event of the UK failing to secure a deal with the EU (the “No Deal” scenario). Two Lower Layer Support Output Areas (LSOA's) in Birchwood in the 2015 Indices of Deprivation were identified as being among the 10% most deprived in England. LSOA 007C is ranked 237 out of 32,844 and LSOA 007A, where I live currently, is ranked 2,397 out of 32,844 LSOA's. Believe me when I say people here do not have an awful lot of disposable income that they would be able to divert to cover a sudden increase in food prices in the shops. If the Tory Govt fail to secure a deal with the EU after March 2019, prices of even basic foodstuffs could be set to increase. A former boss of Waitrose (which I very rarely shop in btw) and former Tory trade minister, Lord Price stated last month that imported fresh food, including fruit and veg (which accounts for around 75% of all fruit and veg consumed) could see the sharpest price rises (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-44966961). An anonymous supermarket chairman stated that he thought the UK operating on WTO rules after leaving the EU would lead to tariffs on food products, with imported cheese having a 44% tariff, chicken a 22% tariff and grapes a 20% tariff, which would probably lead to a 10% general price rise (https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/brexit-no-deal-uk-business-city-trade-eu-leave-a8499621.html).

A young lady who works in one of Birchwood's local hairdressing salons (and does a brilliant job) who is skeptical of the EU told me that she just wants to know whether she'd be able to afford basic food and drink for herself and her partner in a No-Deal scenario. Yes she did blame the EU for lack of progress on the deal. But she also made it clear that she didn't want food prices to rise to a point where her diet may become less varied and she doesn't have enough money to afford a lager or two down her local. I think it's so important that proponents of the People's Vote do not just cite a load of facts and figures at voters as an attempt to force them to “see the light”. Listen to what they have to say and then try to address the key issues that come out of the conversation. I've not met any neighbours or voters who would honestly say they are prepared to pay higher food prices as a result of Brexit, yet I've seen a number of tweets from the supposedly more well-heeled members of our society who would be “more than happy” to pay more for food in exchange for “sovereignty”. I wish those people could take a trip down to their local foodbank and talk with people there, who would include fellow Leave voters, some of whom are working 40-50 hour plus weeks to try and keep themselves and their family members from ending up on the streets and still do not have sufficient funds in place to afford basic food and drink in the last week before payday. Nearly 4 million people have stated they have used foodbanks at some point (https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/food-banks-uk-how-many-people-adults-poverty-a8386811.html). Foodbank volunteers come from a cross-section of society and include EU citizens and I have massive respect for anyone that gives their time freely to keep them going.

There are many Remain and Leave voters who want to change the situation for low-income families, so they do not have to rely on foodbanks or end up destitute. It's a travesty that the Joseph Rowntree Foundation (JRF) Report found that more than 1.5 million people, including 365,000 children were classed as destitute in 2017 (https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/food-banks-uk-how-many-people-adults-poverty-a8386811.html). As we enter an uncertain period, an additional 470,000 people could be living in poverty in 2020/21 as a result of Government decisions to freeze most working-age benefits and tax credits (https://www.jrf.org.uk/report/how-could-brexit-affect-poverty-uk). Under different Brexit scenarios, the JRF also estimates that real wages could fall by between 0.2% and 1.0%, which could lead to an increase in working households in poverty.

I hope that policies can be introduced soon to turn this around and I think they have to include increasing minimum wage rates for all workers to be in line with National Living Wage rates, reducing or banning zero-hours contracts, ending the freeze on working-age benefits and tax credits and ensuring that those who cannot work have the money they need to maintain a comfortable standard of living, including scrapping the draconian Bedroom Tax.

Femi Oluwole, the Co-Founder of the phenomenal campaign group, Our Future, Our Choice, made up of young people who voted Remain and Leave in the 2016 referendum and young people who were too young to vote, really struck a chord with me. I felt he and his team genuinely care about listening to the concerns of Leave voters, especially those that live in the top 10% most deprived areas of the UK. He talked about the residents of Sunderland that he met during his campaigning with warmth and I hope that attendees at the conference listened to him when he said “We need to be angry for Brexit voters, not at them”.

Tone matters a great deal in political campaigning, especially when trying to explore the issue of immigration. Figures compiled by the Migrant Observatory, based at the University of Oxford find that 53% of respondents want to see migration levels reduce: only 13% favour an increase in levels (https://migrationobservatory.ox.ac.uk/resources/briefings/uk-public-opinion-toward-immigration-overall-attitudes-and-level-of-concern/). Personally I am not adverse to keeping Freedom of Movement and I greatly appreciate the overwhelmingly positive contributions that people from the EU have made to Lincoln and Lincolnshire. Our universities- the University of Lincoln and Bishop Grosseteste University would not be as popular with students without them being able to recruit highly qualified, experienced and passionate staff from the EU. Our hospitals and GP surgeries and care homes would be understaffed without people from the EU choosing to come to Lincolnshire and make it their home. We owe a debt of gratitude to the tens of thousands of seasonal migrant workers who have helped to pick and manufacture our excellent Lincolnshire produce (everything from Asparagus and Rapeseed Oil to Lincolnshire Sausages). I believe the majority of Lincolnshire residents and voters, whether they voted to Remain or Leave the EU in 2016 also appreciate the contributions that have been made economically and socially.

The problem comes when the conversation turns to two immigration topic subareas which are a) a perceived lack of high-quality, highly paid job opportunities for British-born residents and b) the strain placed on existing public services and infrastructure as a result of “mass” migration. People's Vote campaigners need to be able to proffer a nuanced opinion on one or both of these in order to demonstrate that they are comfortable with discussing the topic openly and frankly. We need to rebut the charge made by far-right Eurosceptics that we are unwilling to discuss such “difficult” topics. It starts by recognising that more rural businesses in particular, have to, wherever possible, invest in creating and promoting more intermediate, advanced and degree level apprenticeship opportunities for local residents who are over the age of 25, ensuring they receive the knowledge and skills training needed to sustain that role going forward. Promotion of opportunities needs to be done in an innovative way and include use of social media platforms. I also believe that the Government needs to ringfence funding for apprenticeships for over 25s to support businesses willing to create opportunities. Such apprenticeships should be available to UK based residents first, before being advertised abroad. Apprenticeship pay rates may need to be revised to be as close to the Government's National Living Wage as possible.

To rebut the idea that migrants should be the ones who are blamed for strains on public services and housing and transport infrastructure, I think it's essential to bear in mind that decisions made by the Government since 2010 have contributed to pressures on local services. Local authorities have seen their grants cut by 49.1% in real terms between the financial years 2010-11 and 2017-18. The Migrant Impact Fund, introduced by Labour to help increase capacity in local public services in areas which had seen a dramatic increase in the number of migrants, such as Boston, was scrapped in 2010. The Tories then introduced a Controlling Migration Fund in 2016, providing £100m to local authorities over 4 years. £19m of this was released back in June and included £1.75m to help refugees enter the workplace and £1.1m to help victims of modern slavery access local services after leaving central-government funded support (https://www.gov.uk/government/news/19-million-funding-for-councils-to-boost-integration). Great projects but still not enough money to reverse local authority cuts. Not when house building levels seem to not be keeping up with general level of demand, there are just not enough council houses for families who are classed as being in greatest need (there are consistently over 1 million households on local authority waiting lists), local hospital services are being scaled back (Grantham's A&E service used to be 24 hours but this was reduced by closing overnight due to difficulty in recruiting specialist staff). My neighbours feel fed up of having to wait 1 week, 2 weeks or more in some cases to book an initial GP appointment and unfortunately, some blame this wait on an increase in residents who are EU citizens, rather than recognising demand for GP services more generally is rising. A recent survey of 760,000 paients found that 27.9% had found it difficult to get an appointment, up from 18.6% in 2012 (https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/08/09/doubling-long-waits-see-gp-record-pressures-ae-revealed/) Data regarding A&E attendances also demonstrates the amount of pressure our NHS is under: figures from July show that the total number of attendances was 2.17m, the highest figure ever recorded. The recent decision to close the Lincoln Walk-In-Centre has led to increase pressures on A&E services in the county and happened as a result of lack of additional funding being available to local NHS Clinical Commissioning Groups, against the wishes of local residents (http://www.healthwatchlincolnshire.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/GPappointmentreportfinal-2.pdf). Such pressures are not the fault of migrants, they are partly the fault of the Government and they should take more responsibility for their actions.

Some academics have argued that concerns over immigration cannot be rebutted simply by recourse to economic arguments alone. Residents of Boston for example may be happy to hear about intended increases in funding to reduce pressure on public services and infrastructure post a People's Vote but may still be concerned about “an influx” of migrants coming into their area. Overall attitudes towards immigration have softened but there are still voters who will openly differentiate between accepting highly skilled, English speaking migrants and low-skilled, non English speaking (or those with a low standard of English) migrants. Heath and Richards, in their 2018 research, found that British people attach high importance to skills, but lower importance to skin colour and religion (https://migrationobservatory.ox.ac.uk/resources/briefings/uk-public-opinion-toward-immigration-overall-attitudes-and-level-of-concern/). This may indicate that talking more about what EU migrants are doing to make their chosen constituency/local area better may help to change opinion as it demonstrates a willingness to integrate and appreciate perceived British cultural traditions. I think grassroots social action projects involving Remain and Leave voters and EU citizens should continue to be set up in constituencies across the North and could help to grind down hardened attitudes.

I feel proud of being a Lincolnite and proud of being a Yellowbelly (a resident of Lincolnshire for anyone unfamiliar with our dialect) in addition to being the child of an extremely hard-working Norwegian Citizen. I don't believe that we owe the success of our agricultural industry or any industry to membership of the EU alone but I do feel that we have benefitted from it. Greater Lincolnshire as a whole has benefited from being allocated £41m of EU funding in the 2014-20 period. Euromove Lincs found that the Education and Skills Funding Agency received £12.9m for Lincolnshire and Lincolnshire County Council received £6.3m (https://www.euromovelincs.org.uk/lincolnshire_benefits_from_41m_of_eu_funding) which has helped local businesses to expand their capacity (e.g. through the Lincolnshire Business Digital Growth Programme). 1,397 farmers based in the Lincoln area benefited from £53,480,052 of funding from the EU (https://www.myeu.uk/#/area/LN) in 2017 alone and the EU has invested £18,017,536 in 64 research projects! Most residents I have spoken to had no idea that the EU had invested such large amounts in local businesses and whilst I'm not sure it would change people's minds decisively, it does help to change the overarching narrative of opinion on the EU, from that of grabbing money from British taxpayers to one where the EU invests in skills programmes and businesses to try and help improve job opportunities for local residents. Please check out the My.EU website which has more information on projects and organisations in your local area that have been funded by the EU: https://www.myeu.uk!

The importance of talking about the constitutional future for constituencies and counties following a People's Vote was made clear by numerous speakers at the Great Northern Stop Brexit Conference, including the impressive Diana Wallis, who talked about the need for a future Government following the People's Vote to explore further devolution of powers as well as ensuring that more funding was provided to increase housing stock (social and otherwise) in areas where demand is high. Constitutional Reform is certainly a topic area of increasing interest. When I think of “sovereignty” I find it to be a very abstract concept and yet I am very supportive of seeing more tax-raising powers and control over education and health policy being devolved to Lincolnshire. There's a question as to whether devolution should be to the Greater Lincolnshire area or just to the current districts represented by Lincolnshire County Council Councillors. A deal had been proposed in 2016 but was voted down by the County Council over concerns about the bureaucracy surrounding additional powers the elected mayor would have accrued but a plan may be revisited soon (https://lincolnshirereporter.co.uk/2018/05/greater-lincolnshire-devolution-deal-could-be-revisited/).

Voters in Lincoln I have spoken to have also expressed a desire for changes to the House of Lords. One very outspoken retired small businessman told me that we need a democratically elected Senate, with hereditary peers and Bishops losing their entitlement to seats and other Peers choosing to stand in elections for a constituency seat in that Senate. Another person who was very much a Brexiteer Tory said that he only wanted to see numbers of seats available in the House of Lords reduced and that as the UK is still a Christian country, the Bishops and existing hereditary peers should retain their seats. They both agree the system needs to change but are clearly split on how such change should be enacted. The Electoral Reform Society believes the key to reform is to go down the full election route but they would like to see a proportional system used, such as the Single Transferable Vote (find out more about it here: https://www.electoral-reform.org.uk/voting-systems/types-of-voting-system/single-transferable-vote/) which means that the strength of each party would match the strength of feeling of voters and they can choose which party candidates or independents (crossbenchers in the House of Lords) they want to vote for to represent their constituency/local area. The details of course need to be worked out but it certainly sounds more democratic than the system we have now. It would truly demonstrate a practical application of the “Take Back Control” spirit embued in many people across the UK.

The vote to Leave the EU was partly a vote to rile up the Political Establishment; a vote designed to force MPs to take the concerns of ordinary voters more seriously and to fashion a vision for the UK that will benefit the many, not the few. Thus far, ardent Brexiteers in Government and Brexiteers within other parties, as well as those MPs who favour a Remain and Reform approach, have failed to adequately outline a clear, progressive vision for life for UK residents in a post-Brexit scenario. Whilst I am now slightly more confident that there is a possibility of Corbyn choosing to recommend to Labour's National Executive Committee (NEC) that the party backs a People's Vote as official policy and also more confident there could be a potential shift in PM May's position should no deal be agreed in principle by December, I am also conscious of the need to harness the amazing energy of grassroots campaigners to enact positive social change in local communities regardless of the eventual outcome politically. There are friends, neighbours and strangers who would appreciate support now, more than ever. Our country needs a positive, progressive and inclusive vision, which encourages our residents, wherever they have come from and whether they are a British citizen or not to adopt an internationalist, outward looking outlook. We need policies that unashamedly focus on improving the standard and quality of life. It's not about increasing handouts or disenfranchising Leave voters, it's about giving a helping hand to communities to encourage sustainable, real change. It has to be grassroots led. As the fabulous Natalie Bennett, Sheffield Central candidate and former leader of the Green Party said at the conference: “Politics is something you do, not (something) done to you”.

For me, that means continuing to speak out about levels of inequality prevalent in our society. It means helping to empower local people from different socio-economic backgrounds to speak about their own life experiences and work together to explore possible social action they can take to improve quality of life for themselves and others. I think we all need to use whatever platforms we can to promote and celebrate the diverse nature of our local communities, including celebrating contributions made by people from around the world. We should choose strength in hope together. Hope for a prosperous, healthier and happier future. Remaining in the EU can be one part of helping to shape that future but not the only policy decision that can make a difference.

Dyspraxia, Self-Confidence and Me

Being blessed with “the gift” of a moderate form of dyspraxia has meant and still means having to navigate the challenge of social engagement and getting my use of language on-point. When I was younger I used to be quite shy when in a group scenario, especially at school because I was afraid of saying the wrong thing or using incorrect grammar. I have been known to swap words around in a sentence and adding fillers into my speech when not really necessary, usually to allow my brain some time to bring a conversation back on topic. Using the same adjective or adverb several times during the course of a conversation is a defence or coping mechanism for me- a way of indicating I have understood what has been said by an interlocutor or a way of eliciting a response without being too overt about it. “Absolutely” seems to be one of my favourite go-to adverbs to demonstrate my understanding of a topic or agreement with a statement. When used alongside a low pitch/tone of voice and affirmative facial expressions and eye-contact it can be way of sounding confident even when you may not feel confident inside.

My level of self-confidence, as I've blogged about countless times has been up and down. It can be affected by negative conversations and being put into uncomfortable or unfamiliar situations: for example, if I'm talking to a group of young people about a topic I have knowledge of and passion for- like raising awareness of dyspraxia, I tend to feel less tense, less needy of crutch words and behaviours and more able to structure sentences to get my point across. However, when I am speaking to a group of high-powered professionals, who may not have much understanding of neurodiverse conditions or may have expectations of listening to a flawless presentation (or at least how I perceive flawless to be, as no presentation ever happens without incident), I have been known to get tongue-tied, avoid eye-contact and nervous for the questions that follow.

Young people with dyspraxia, otherwise known as Developmental Coordination Disorder or DCD for short regularly experience dips in self-confidence as a result of engaging in presentation delivery. Pratt and Hill (2011) conducted research with young people with DCD and found that they “experience high levels of ‘panic anxiety’ when faced by a task that they have previously found challenging (Pratt and Hill 2011), leading to avoidance behaviour” (https://dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Dyspraxia-Mental-Health-Consultation-March-2016.pdf). I found speaking about scientific subjects much more difficult than talking about poetry, prose or plays in the first years of secondary school so I would try and avoid taking part in class discussions in Science, Technology, ICT, Maths and Graphic Design by taking notes and avoiding eye-contact with the teacher. When I was asked to deliver a presentation I would use the PowerPoint presentation I created as a prop to keep my speech on track but I'd often digress onto different subjects, which must have been quite frustrating for some of my peers! Thanks to working with my English, Drama and Modern Foreign Language teachers I managed to build my self-confidence to the point where I could speak without being prompted but the digression element really hasn't gone away! The extra effort required to get to that point was draining and I never would have managed it without tailored support and my parents and friends willing me on. This feeling of being overwhelmed seems to be quite common amongst children and young people with DCD: Missiuna, Moll et al (2007) found that parents of children with DCD have reported that their children have felt overwhelmed “because of the expectations and work required of them and ‘mask’ their problems by putting in extra effort so that that their difficulties weren’t noticed” (https://dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Dyspraxia-Mental-Health-Consultation-March-2016.pdf).

Anxiety has been a mental health concern that has dominated much of my life. I get anxious over the most silliest of things – if I forget a pen to make notes at a meeting I'm worried about forgetting everything at that meeting and if I don't note nearly everything down I think I'm going to forget what was said or misinterpret it and upset someone. I'm perpetually worried about missing buses and trains and tripping up on the steps or getting stuck in the door. Fear of getting the wrong bus or train or missing the last train or bus has meant I am more reluctant to attend events outside Lincoln alone.

I've thought so many times that I'm blocking everyone's way by standing awkwardly or sitting in the wrong place and when I do get something wrong I can focus my attention on reflecting on that action for far longer than is necessary. I don't want to feel like a burden but when you've felt like you are being a burden to others you care about for so long, it's difficult to shake that feeling off. It makes you feel like shit and it's in those moments you need to have friends and family around to talk to.

I experienced social isolation throughout my teenage years and young adulthood, partly as a result of not having been pro-active and going out to clubs, taking part in leisure activities and joining societies, partly as a result of socio-economic circumstances and the stigma associated with that (I think Universal Credit advisors need to continue to promote volunteering, participation in job clubs and taking part in free events in the local area to challenge that sense of self-stigmatisation) and partly as a result of fearing what circumstances I could have found myself in. I have been fortunate to meet some amazing, non-judgmental folks over the past few years but it's been a hard journey. Young dyspraxic people living in rural Lincolnshire must have found and continue to find it tougher to engage in social activities due to public transport issues and/or socially conservative attitudes of their parents, guardians and carers and I do worry about overall levels of youth social isolation and loneliness. Social media plays it part in keeping young people connected and there are YouTube videos and stars that young people can turn to for advice and guidance for when they do feel lonely but I've met young people who still feel incredibly lonely. One young guy I met who is dyspraxic felt that he couldn't meet up and play football with his schoolmates because he didn't want to be judged for not being able to catch the ball (he said he often finds himself put in the goalie position at school so that he doesn't “wander all over the place” or “slow the game down”). Teachers, pastoral care staff, professionals with knowledge of neurodiverse conditions and parents, guardians and carers all have a role to play in reducing social isolation and improving inclusion of neurodiverse young people in sports and creative activities. This includes teaching young people about neurodiversity in Science and in PSHE lessons. The Dyspraxia Foundation undertook a Youth Mental Health Consultation back in 2016 and the report found that young people with dyspraxia often felt that lack of understanding about dyspraxia “added to their sense of feeling different” (https://dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Dyspraxia-Mental-Health-Consultation-March-2016.pdf). If young people understand to some extent what their peers with dyspraxia are going through, the anxiety they face and the extra effort they put in to participate, they may adapt slightly the sports and creative activities they engage in (e.g. slowing down the football game slightly or reminding their friend to bring pen and pencil grips for drawing) so they can be inclusive.

When I was growing up I never knew anyone who had been diagnosed with dyspraxia as early as me (I was diagnosed initially aged 6 following consultation with educational psychologists and following an referral by my primary school psychologist). Nobody openly discussed having dyspraxia and I never read about anyone who was dyspraxic or saw anyone on TV or in films who said they were dyspraxic. It was almost like it was a condition you had to avoid talking about for fear of being singled out. I really hope that will change in the future, with more fictional book, TV and film characters being created who happen to be neurodiverse and with more documentaries being produced on neurodiverse conditions and I'd be more than happy to give advice on this (wink wink, nudge nudge shameless plug).

Even when I was at mainstream secondary school and no longer needed a SENCO or Occupational Therapist to support me on a daily basis I felt different. At times during Year 7 and 8 I felt like I didn't belong in the school at all; that somehow my acceptance had been a fluke and that I consistently and consciously had to show grateful thanks to the teachers for allowing me to have a space and pretty much take on board what they said as gospel truth. I remember my Mum telling me that my Year 7 RE teacher said that my chances of getting a Grade C in English and Maths at GCSE (Grade 4/5 nowadays) was pretty much non-existent let alone getting one in RE and yet through sheer hard graft and hours and hours of studying after-school I ended proving him wrong, getting my A* in English Lit and RE and going on to study both alongside English Language, French, German and General Studies at A-Level and then studying English and Philosophy at the University of York. Believe me, with tailored support and the determination to succeed, you can achieve. I still think of Mr Year 7 RE teacher with a wry smile and utter a “you were wrong” under my breath. I really try not to gloat or revel in other people's mistaken beliefs but sometimes I just can't help it. We're only human after all.

As the years went on I began to realise that what made me different was far more than my dyspraxia and my gender and actually that it was OK to be seen as different, as unique. The anxiety was still there, I was still pretty much socially isolated outside the school grounds and yet there was a rebellious sense of freedom I could latch onto. These days I am much more attune to and revel in my rebelliousness because it's a refusal to conform to gender expectations and semantic structure expectations. I wear what I want within the confines of the law and I accept that I won't be the Jacob Rees-Mogg type of rhetorical speaker (Thank God!) I can own my own truth, try and phrase things in the way I know how and happily invite others on the journey with me. Being a confident communicator means embracing semantic and grammatical differences. If someone uses “and” to start a segment of lecture once in a while....it may not be seen as “Standard” English but so what! Being a confident listener means embracing the challenge of understanding different modes of speech delivery; if a young person uses “Absolutely” 10 times during the conversation because they may happen to be nervous about meeting you for the first time...No Big Deal! Listen to the overall content of the conversation and appreciate how much effort that young person may have made to come and talk to you in the first place.

I hope that more young people with dyspraxia will receive the support they need, especially with regards to reducing levels of anxiety and social isolation. It starts with professionals being open to finding out more about neurodiverse conditions.

There are several ways of finding out this information :

• Accessing websites run by specialist organisations containing information and advice on supporting young people with dyspraxia- e.g. Dyspraxia Foundation - http://www.dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/
• Reading textbooks and guides published by experts working with neurodiverse young people-
  • Understanding Dyspraxia – A Guide for Parents and Teachers by Maureen Boon (https://www.jkp.com/uk/understanding-dyspraxia-2.html)
  • Caged in Chaos by Victoria Biggs about her life as a dyspraxic teenager (https://dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/shopping/product/books/caged-in-chaos-a-dyspraxia-guide-to-breaking-free/)
  • Can't Play Won't Play by Sharow Drew and Elizabeth Atter which contains a number of strategies to encourage children with dyspraxia to engage in physical activities through socialising
    (https://dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/shopping/product/books/cant-play-wont-play/)
  • Discover Yourself by Gillian Dixon – a book aimed at primary school students to help them understand more about dyspraxia
    (https://dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/shopping/product/books/discover-yourself/)
• Booking training on dyspraxia and other neurodiverse conditions delivered by qualified and experienced professionals
  • Dyspraxia Foundation may have funded training sessions available or they can be approached to deliver training sessions in schools/colleges/universities/workplaces
  • Dyspraxia UK has training sessions for teachers and teaching assistants and occupational therapists (https://www.dyspraxiauk.com/generalinformation.php)
• Booking professionals onto online CPD training courses
  • AC Education has an online course in Understanding Dyslexia and Dyspraxia (https://www.ac-education.co.uk/online-course/understanding-dyslexia-dyspraxia/)
  • Communicate-ed, a specialist education training organisation offers an online course specifically on supporting students with dyspraxia (https://www.communicate-ed.org.uk/courses/supporting-students-with-dyspraxia).

Young people with dyspraxia can be some of the wittiest, academically bright young people around. By understanding some of the challenges they face, like dealing with unfamiliar social situations, professionals can offer the right amount of support for those young people to cope whilst empowering them to pursue their aspirational goals. To young people reading my blog, I say this: you can and will achieve great things. Reach out when you think you need additional support. Never give up and remember it's OK not to be OK sometimes. You know what's best for you.

Confidence(ish), Progress and Hope

Gosh it seems like an age since I wrote my last blogpost! Time flies by when your diary and/or reading list is full to the brim. I can't really complain: I've met with many interesting and intelligent people who share my passion for creating a more equal, inclusive society through delivery of progressive policies and social action projects. One thing I can say for definite is that our young people in Lincolnshire have a plethora of genuinely game-changing ideas to share with the world and it's important, now more than ever, to do what we can to help cultivate platforms for them to share such ideas. It shouldn't matter what a young person's socio-economic circumstances happen to be- if they have something engaging and thought-provoking to say, they should have a space where they can express themselves openly and frankly and a space where they can listen to others doing the same thing, in the hope they collaborate and bring transformative ideas to life.

I wish I had had more opportunities to build the self confidence I needed to express my thoughts and share my ideas out of the school environment. I think my teachers and peers appreciated the contributions I did make in lessons like PSHE and Religious Studies but I never felt comfortable with the mechanics of it all. I guess I felt partly judged but also that I didn't want to be seen to be hogging the limelight or wasting my peers' time. When you are seen as a bit of a social outcast or the “weird one”, it can make you feel like you have to be quieter, so that you don't draw more attention to yourself than the attention sought of you by the teacher. The reality of the situation may be completely different to your perception of it- peers may be feeling nervous themselves and would love to hear someone being bold and being prepared to share thoughts with them to help spark conversations, especially when challenging conversations need to be had in the classroom. The Heads Together Mentally Healthy Schools page states that anxiety can become an issue for students when “their fear or worry seems out of proportion to the problem, it leads to unhelpful and unrealistic thoughts about themselves and others and/or when it interferes with their ability to take part in activities” (https://www.mentallyhealthyschools.org.uk/mental-health-needs/the-anxious-or-worried-child/). I certainly felt overwhelmed by social situations at school and whilst I was never without friends, it wasn't easy to engage in ordinary school activities. There were times when I found it difficult to concentrate, especially as exams neared and there was many a time when I'd come back from secondary school in floods of tears having received a module report, parent's report or exam grade and feeling like I'd not done well enough, even though the majority of my effort grades over the 7 year period I was there were in the A-C range. My parents or teachers never felt that I ever needed specialist pastoral support and some of my teachers thought as long as I was doing reasonably well in their subject “I would pull myself together” before the exams and pass them and then be less anxious as a result. Perhaps they didn't fully understand how emotionally draining it was for me, to cope with expectations, to over challenges I faced as a result of dyspraxia and my body confidence issues. As for my gender, they just had no real clue or at least they didn't want to be vocal about it. Maybe I should have spoken up more and said how I was feeling. I got through school life but it was hard at times.

So you see some young people will never feel like they can be completely themselves at school and that's why fostering spaces for discussion outside the school environment can be vitally important.

The tentativeness approach to life that took hold at school seemed to ebb away at the University of York. I felt freer to be more myself...maybe it was because I met more folks who seemed like me – dyspraxic, gender stereotype breakers, feminists, shopaholics (I do love a charity shop vintage clothing or jewellery bargain and still frequent them today) but even when at my most uninhibited, I still felt I couldn't be entirely expressive of my opinions in Philosophy seminars. It was really strange that I could quite easy lead a seminar on discussions of gender identity and stereotyping and breaking Regency social mores in Jane Austen's work but didn't feel confident to discuss the differences between dualism and monism in the philosophy of mind (Descartes vs Spinoza....worth looking up if you have the time and inclination: https://psychologenie.com/dualism-vs-monism-in-philosophy). It was partly a fear of being seen as lazy if I got some element of the theory argument wrong (in English Literature it was more about remembering historical dates where my long-term memory doesn't seen to desert me) and partly because I never saw myself as a capable debater or philosopher...unsurprisingly this is still pretty much the case today. I enjoyed more listening to the views of my peers in philosophy seminars so would only contribute when required/prompted by the tutor and then came the slipping up of words, the tentativeness, the uneasiness and the patronising/sympathetic looks and nitpicky comments, usually from the ex public schoolboys who chose Philosophy because they thought it was a “liberal conservative chic” subject to take and they'd probably have a cushy job or internship to look forward to. Alright for some I guess. I'd smile back but it was a front to mask my anxiety, my fear of having to bear being subject to the charge of being inane. Being arcane has it's advantages but fear of being inane is one cross you seem to have to bear, especially if you're a dyspraxic student. Thank God I could escape to the local Cat's Protection charity shop for a natter with the local manager who literally gave the best and most frank life advice ever: “Wear your craziest 80's leggings to the next seminar and show you don't give a f**k about their patronising tone” she said once. I did....and I said what I thought to the bitchy ex public schoolboys and yes, it made me feel a million times better. Self-care is so important. Sometimes you just have to rebel. Suffice to say my tutor for the course was quite taken aback by it all. But then she was a social conservative and I don't think she or any of the liberal Tories in that group had met someone like me. Learning experiences are good for all concerned, regardless of background so I hope it helped them in some way....well they may know what 80's leggings look like. That's a start...

After uni, I became more withdrawn and felt more and more my views and the ideas I espoused didn't really matter. This week the Social Housing Green paper was released and in it there was a chapter dedicated to talking about social stigma faced by social housing tenants. All of the engagement events conducted with residents as part of putting the paper together included discussions about social stigma. The paper highlights research conducted by Shelter earlier this year which found that “24% of families in social housing feel looked down on because of where they live, compared with only 8% of families who are private renters or homeowners” (https://england.shelter.org.uk/media/press_releases/articles/shelter_launches_new_social_housing_commission). It's interesting how the Tory Government now seem more willing to state they need to recognise the contributions made by social housing tenants towards improving community cohesion. They need to do far more to “value the diversity of residents in social housing-from the most vulnerable who need support, to the majority of adult residents working and those supporting vital services like the NHS” (https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/733605/A_new_deal_for_social_housing_web_accessible.pdf). That means changing perceptions with social housing tenants leading the way by telling their stories and sharing their ideas for such change.

I can tell you from personal experience there are folks who are in HR and Recruitment roles in Lincolnshire who can have an bias against applicants from certain areas where social housing is prevalent. This bias is often not expressed in words but is noticeable through changes in vocal tone and body language. You can have all the qualifications you need to enter a career sector but if they take one look at your address and make an assumption, that's it.....they'll exchange pleasantries, ask the questions they need to ask to fill in their sheets but come selection process time, you just know they'll find the excuse not to hire you. It's the quiet tut, the glancing of eyes or avoidance of eye contact that gives such people away. It's disheartening, it can make you less willing to be open and it can put young people off from applying for jobs in certain sectors.

I've met numerous young jobseekers who have been long-term unemployed who are engaging, passionate about particular issues (e.g. reducing homelessness and improving the housing sector) but who feel like they never get a chance to air their views and showcase their ideas and even when they do get a rare chance, they never feel like they've not been listened to by those they perceive to be in positions of power. I believe we need to do far more as a society to provide meaningful engagement opportunities and provide funding to encourage those who share their ideas to test them through the creation of social action projects. Grassroots self-improvement projects will help participants to build their self-confidence, improve communication and interpersonal skills and give them a chance to shape their own future path. Some of the people deemed “hardest to reach” by professionals have the most interesting ideas and rather than taking a restrictive, punitive approach with them or mollycoddling them, let them take charge of their destinies through creating their own volunteering social action projects and for goodness sake ensure they have money to be able to follow through with it.

I'm very lucky to now be in a position where I can begin to work with young people from low-income backgrounds, young people with low-level mental health conditions like social anxiety, young people who are experiencing long-term unemployment (NEETs) as well as young people who feel like they are social outcasts from urban and rural areas of Lincolnshire. All have the potential to come up with transformative, progressive ideas and I want to work with them to co-curate a platform they can access and contribute to to share those ideas. This will be done in a multitude of ways and I, for one, am excited at what progress could be achieved. My own passion for writing has been continually renewed and inspired by daily conversations, long and short. I'm beginning to feel more confident once again about speaking in public too, which is a positive development and who knows, I may be speaking at events across the country one day, sharing my own thoughts and those of others who have a progressive, hopeful vision for their communities and for the UK as a whole. I may still be tentative Matti at heart, but I'm growing in knowledge, experience and awareness every day and I'm really grateful for that.